A lot of straight men are overly concerned with their attractiveness level and believe that only the best-looking men end up with the best-looking women. It can be challenging to convince those men of the fact that average looking guys can and do end up with beautiful women, too, and that their advantage is their personality and/or (perceived) status.
Having said that, there are indeed physical characteristics straight women find the most attractive, and they do matter when evaluating a man’s overall attractiveness; but they simply don’t matter the most. So it would be a lie to say straight women do not care about a guy’s physical appearance at all – they do – but not to the extent many straight men believe.
That is because women are more influenced by what they perceive to be a guy’s personality and status when assessing his attractiveness. So when a guy does not meet her preferred criteria in those areas, he will be perceived as less attractive overall, including his looks. Women will make their assessment of a guy the moment they first meet or see him; just based on how he is dressed, his body language, his company and environment, his smile and gaze, and so forth, women attempt to intuitively grasp whether a guy meets her criteria in the personality and/or status department. Of course women can be misguided, and actually talking and getting to know a guy will either confirm or deconstruct what she has assessed to be his overall attractiveness level and suitability as a partner. That’s how a woman can find a physically attractive guy unappealing, or an average guy with a “dadbod” more attractive – because those guys either meet or don’t meet her criteria.
The specifics of those criteria differ from woman to woman. Even so, there are certain universal traits that make any man more attractive in general. Focusing on those aspects will boost your attractiveness and perceived status in most women’s eyes immensely; and no, you do not have to be rich or famous in order to be perceived as higher status.
Maximizing your proficiency or strength in the following areas will make a woman be more attracted to you, not your money or other assets.
Without any confidence, you’ll be invisible to women. Confidence should be the centre of your personality. If you don’t think you are a valuable person and a great match, why should she? Women can be very impressionable to what you put out there in the world and what kind of reality you create.
If you do not create a reality for yourself where you are in control of your destiny and are confident in your abilities and worth as a human being, most women will find you much less attractive.
It might be unrealistic to expect of men or people in general to be confident at all times. No one is always confident in everything they are doing in every situation. So to be realistic, it boils down to self-esteem. Do you have a high or low opinion of yourself? Do you hold back your opinions and self-censor yourself, or are you open about your views and desires? Your position on those matters affects how other people, especially women, perceive you.
Why do most women value confidence so highly? Because women equate a guy’s confidence level with his ability to overcome life’s obstacles. Most women do not want to be burdened with having to protect and support a man and herself; they’d rather feel supported and protected by him (to an extent). There are some women who do adopt a more masculine role, but I doubt you want to date a masculine woman; and if you do, then ignore everything you just read. Otherwise, build your confidence.
How do you build your confidence? At first, you have to realize you have worth as a human being. Yes, you have weaknesses like anybody else, but you also have strengths. Try to accomplish more in your life. Look for ways to put your strengths into practice and see yourself succeed. Become more used to unfamiliar situations that tend to make you uncomfortable. Over time, you’ll realize that you are more capable than you have ever imagined, and that those stressful situations are actually much easier to deal with than you thought.
At last, you are probably familiar with the fact that many (if not most) straight women either fall victim to, or have an odd fascination with narcissists. Narcissism is the dark extreme of self-esteem and confidence; you could argue that narcissists are actually insecure at their core and lack any true confidence. However, as I said earlier, women are very much swayed by the kind of reality and narrative you create about yourself. A narcissist is a master at creating a world and narrative where he is of high value, highly capable and highly important. Most women value confidence and self-esteem so much that many of them end up choosing a narcissist who seems highly confident over a guy who seems to have little confidence to speak of.
I am not encouraging narcissism, but my point is: You are much more attractive to women if you are (or seem) confident.
The higher the quality of the woman you want to attract, the higher your level of (real) confidence has to be.
Confidence will get you noticed, but character will make you memorable. A guy with character has clearly distinct personality traits, a particular lifestyle, and is unique in some way.
If you could be an interesting fictional character, you most likely have enough character.
Many celebrities, especially musicians, usually have a very particular kind of image that is supposed to convey a particular kind of character. Their companies and agencies have a good idea of what kind of image attracts women the most.
Again, women have a thing for narratives; a guy who has character creates a certain world around himself in which he is playing a significant role, and that is very attractive to most women.
Your image or character can fit into a stereotype: The Bad Boy, the Rockstar, the Good Guy, the Hippy, the Mysterious Guy, the Bodybuilder, the Geek, the Funny Guy etc. Each stereotype will attract certain kinds of women; some stereotypes like the Bad Boy attract more women than others. As a counter-example, the Goth Guy will predominately attract other goths.
You do not have to fit into any particular stereotype(s), but if you lack enough character at the moment, you could benefit from going for a stereotype or fictional character that suits you the best and attracts the kind of woman you want.
Just fitting into a stereotype won’t be enough, however; you’ll have to include personal traits and quirks of your own, otherwise you’ll be like any other person of that stereotype. A very effective way to make your character unique is to include and embrace paradoxes. A classic and beloved paradox is the Bad Boy with a soft side. Another paradox could be a Goth Guy liking Justin Bieber’s music. Those paradoxes create an interesting and unique tension between the stereotype and your own personality.
Ideally, you create your own stereotype. Some male celebrities have created their own stereotype that are known by their name; for instance, “Brad Pitt” has become a synonym for the stereotype of the good-looking guy.
The easiest way to make women aware of your character quickly is to develop a personal clothing style that conveys it well. If you are a Bad Boy, dress like a Bad Boy. If you are a Geek, dress like a Geek. Someone who fits into a stereotype naturally will dress the part without second thought, but the guy who wants to become more of a Bad Boy will have to consciously dress the part. (Here is clothing I like on a guy; you can probably guess what kind of character(s) I am into.)
Without a purpose, your existence seems to have no meaning. A woman who perceives you and your life as meaningless and insignificant won’t be attracted to you. Also, without a purpose you are most likely lacking confidence and character as well; lacking all three aspects will make you boring, unappealing, and ultimately you’ll feel worse about your own life yourself.
To be attractive to women, you need to have a purpose and goals that do not revolve around one specific woman. If your only purpose is to make your woman happy, she’ll quickly tire of you.
You can aim high; as long as you are passionate, following your purpose, and doing your best to make your dreams come true, you will be more attractive to women, even if certain particular goals won’t get reached as you had imagined.
The greater your purpose, the greater the kind of woman you’ll attract.
If you aim rather low, and your purpose is as simple as getting married and having children, you are less likely going to attract a high-caliber woman – meaning, a woman who is not just pretty or not just intelligent, but both and more.
Many people struggle with figuring out their purpose; it can be a buzzword these days. Your purpose does not have to be grande or magnificent, but it needs to fulfill you. You need to find something that makes your own life worthwhile. Something that engages your heart and mind, where you have to apply your strengths and succeed at doing so with satisfaction.
As with character stereotypes, so do certain goals and purposes attract more or less women, or certain kinds of women over others. The right kind of woman for you will delight in your purpose, or share the same or a very similar kind of purpose.
A man who changes the lives of the people around him is incredibly attractive to a woman. Any kind of leader will be more attractive to women than any kind of follower. If you cannot be a leader, at least be non-conformist. Establish some kind of influential position, and you’ll attract more women.
You do not have to influence as many people as celebrities do; but you need to have some kind of influence over people in your life, especially over the people who are important to the kind of woman you want.
Being a boss is a classic example of an influencer, but being more influential could be as simple as regularly leading the conversation in a group of people. If you manage to make people want to listen to you, this can be very attractive to women. Many women will be the most drawn to the guy in her social circle who seems to have the most influence over the others.
Imagine you were in a movie. Think about the kind of character that is typically the most attractive. Exactly, it is the lead character; the character with the most influence over the story and the other people in it. So be the lead character of your own movie, and women will be instantly more attracted to you, including high-quality women.
All in all, to be more attractive to women (without getting rich, “ripped”, or famous) you have to be:
Confident, Have Character, Have a Purpose, and Be Influential.
Of course it wouldn’t hurt if you became rich, “ripped”, and/or famous; but if that is all you have going for you, the women you attract will only be attracted to those superficial qualities and most likely lose interest once they have found someone who’s more confident or has more character.
There are countless articles, books, and word-of-mouth tales in regards to what (straight) men find physically attractive in a woman. Since puberty, every straight woman is (consciously or not) burdened with the pressure of being physically attractive to the opposite sex. So what do straight men actually find physically attractive? Shouldn’t asking a straight man about what he finds attractive in a partner suffice? In many cases, this does not work too well, because the man in question is usually hesitant to be entirely honest due to the backlash he could get from the woman questioning him. That’s why most men will respond with a vague answer, mostly listing general character traits like “intelligent” or “caring” as what they find attractive, but this is hardly what makes a man feel sexual desire or physical attraction towards a woman.
Learning about and applying what most straight men find physically attractive will enable you to attract as many straight men as possible – including men who are more attractive than average themselves. Of course you do not have to adhere to what this article is bringing forward, and you very well may not like what you’ll read. However, adopting a few new habits in your grooming or self-care routine won’t just attract more men, but also will make you feel much better about yourself, so it can be a win-win situation.
If you are a lesbian, or identify as “androgynous”, “agender”, or “genderqueer”, or are predominately attracted to men who defy gender norms, or are currently suffering from an eating disorder, you should probably stop reading this article now.
If you want to know what an average straight man interested in feminine beauty finds the most physically attractive, and if you want to boost your own attractiveness with that knowledge, keep on reading.
We’ll start with the basics and move towards the details as we go forward. The female appearance can be roughly divided into Body, Face, and Grooming.
The female body has been subjected to harsh criticism for centuries. This article does not want to endorse any kind of body image or ideal. This article is purely educational in terms of what most straight men find the most physically attractive in this day and age. If you want to ignore the (possibly painful) truth, again, stop reading now.
You are most likely familiar with the idea that most men find slimmer, fit women more physically attractive. To be specific, the most attractive BMI for a woman is generally around 18-19 (followed by 17-20) and the most attractive amount of body fat is generally around 16%. The closer you match those estimates, the more physically attractive you’ll be to most straight men; the more you divert from them, the less so.
It’s rather astounding how dramatically the amount and nature of attention you get from straight men will change based on your body weight. Unarguably, most men care the most about this aspect before all the other ones. There are several reasons for this, most of them pertaining to the fact that straight men are unconsciously looking for a female who’s fit for reproduction and could have healthy babies. A lower body fat % and lower BMI (but not too low!) give men the impression that the woman is younger, healthier and hence fit for reproduction. Whereas a higher body fat % and higher BMI will give men the impression that the woman is older, possibly sick and hence unsuitable for reproduction.
Just getting into an average BMI (18.5–24.9) and body fat percentage (21-24%) will boost your attractiveness considerably.This study suggests that a lower body fat percentage is more significant than a lower BMI. Hence focusing on optimizing your body fat percentage could be more important than just lowering your BMI. Many women suffer from being at a high body fat percentage (above 31%). If you are one of them, you’d benefit from losing fat by getting into a caloric deficit (“cut”), eating enough protein (25-35% of your calories) and doing strength training to keep your muscle (otherwise you may lose too much muscle and just end up “skinnyfat“). If your BMI is too low (below 17) and/or your body fat % is too low (below 15%), get into a caloric surplus (“bulk”) and try to gain some weight (preferably in the form of muscle mass and perhaps some fat mass if necessary).
Most men claim to be into “curvy” women, but contrary to popular (female) belief this does not necessarily mean they like women to have “more meat on their bones”, as the previous point illustrated. Rather, men are themost attracted to females with a waist-to-hip ratio of about 0.6–0.7. In other words, men like women who have a cinched waist with shapely hips, also known as the “hourglass shape” – and slimmer women can have this shape, too; hence “curvy” in the male mind is not the same as “thick”. Anything that shows off or creates the effect of the hourglass shape will be attractive to straight men. That’s why shapewear, and in the past corsets, are/were so popular. Even today, some women get into waist training to achieve the hourglass figure, notable examples being Dita von Teese and Kim Kardashian (who’s also employed liposuction and fat grafting to emphasize her shape).
Most women will get closer to the aforementioned waist-to-hip ratio just by losing enough fat from their stomachs and getting in shape. However, as you may know there are different body shapes based on different skeletal structures and similar. Many women are naturally not blessed with a skeletal structure that results in the Hourglass shape. Those women could buy shapewear or engage in waist training or even go for a fat grafting procedure like Kim Kardashian, though I’ve found that most straight men do not care about the waist-to-hip ratio as much; they typically find other points more significant, like weight (though of course there will be some guys who value it more highly). So generally, I’d advise women to not fret over their waist-to-hip ratio and instead focus on their other asset(s). If this is your asset, you can allow yourself to be slightly heavier like Kim Kardashian or Christina Hendricks.
Breasts and Buttocks
It is no secret that men are attracted to these specific parts of the female body; commonly, men call themselves either a “boob” or a “butt guy”. Ideally, a woman would have well-shaped breasts and buttocks, though the average straight guy typically develops a preference for one of the two; could be because most women do not possess both assets naturally.
An interesting study found that most men prefer medium (B cup) and large (C-D cup) breasts over smaller (A and AA cup) ones, and that large breasts were not more attractive than medium ones.
So, does that mean you need to get a boob job if you have A or AA cup breasts to attract men? Not necessarily. Again, most men predominately care about a woman’s weight when it comes to her body. Thin women typically have smaller breasts; and they are in proportion to her smaller frame, so a man who cares more about a woman being slim (and/or who happens to be a “butt guy”) is going to be attracted to a woman like that, no matter her breast size. On the other hand, medium to large breasts won’t significantly boost your attractiveness if you are overweight or obese. It’s surely more attractive to have big breasts and be overweight opposed to having small breasts as an overweight person, but a slim woman with smaller boobs will be more attractive than both of them. Having said that, a slim woman with medium to large breasts will be the most attractive of them all. So it is understandable if you decide to get a boob job if your breasts are an A cup or less; though it is not necessary. It’s even more unnecessary to get a boob job if your breasts are a B cup or above.
Unless you want to attract a “butt guy” who is also into women with a higher BMI and more “curves”, having (or getting, with the help of plastic surgery) a huge butt is overrated and unnecessary. Similar to the waist-to-hip ratio issue, the form of your butt is actually partly genetic and unchangeable. The NSFW images at the bottom of this article show the differences between a more feminine behind and a less feminine behind.
You can improve the size of your butt with targeted weight training to an extent, so I’d advise every woman to train her gluteus maximus. But similar to the boobs vs weight issue, don’t obsess over your little butt if you are skinny. Less body fat and a smaller butt go hand in hand, and guys who find slimmer women more attractive won’t mind a smaller butt or smaller boobs on a slim woman; and most men prefer slimmer women, so you should be mostly fine.
Before you get any kind of butt or boob implants (or surgical procedure of any kind), you’d better get into shape and improve your grooming habits.
Then there are men who are actually “leg guys”; you can tell a guy is a “leg guy” if he has a thing for women in short skirts or dresses, over-knee socks, shorts – basically any kind of clothing that highlights the legs.
Long legs are attractive mainly because they are a sign of good health. As said earlier, men are primarily attracted to youth and health in women, because their offspring will be healthier and stronger. So, anything that makes your legs look longer, like heels or certain outfits, will make you more attractive to men. I am hypothesizing that heels are not only attractive to most men because they elongate the legs and emphasize the butt, but also because they add height to a woman’s frame, and this results in a lower BMI, which is more attractive to men as already mentioned several times before. Hence wearing heels could be especially helpful in boosting the attractiveness of an overweight woman with short legs.
This should be a no-brainer by now, but I’ll mention it anyway: Slimmer legs are more attractive because they correlate with a lower body fat percentage, which again is more attractive to straight men.
Height is a much more significant factor in determining the physical attractiveness of men than women. Straight men generally do not care too much about height. Supposedly men find taller women less attractive according to the Wikipedia article on physical attractiveness, however this would contradict the fact that many men are attracted to tall models. Height itself being less important, and a slim physique with longer legs being more valuable or important, tall slim models will be more attractive than overweight short women.
Having said that, this survey found that most men prefer a woman’s height to be in the 5’4″-5’8″ range. But again, if you are outside this range, it won’t matter too much, for men weigh other factors much more when assessing the physical attractiveness of a woman.
Whether a man is open to dating a woman who is taller than him will be a matter of how confident he is and how much he is attached to stereotypical gender roles and/or societal expectations. Because of societal expectations and/or personal preference, most straight men prefer their partner to be shorter than them, but there can be exceptions.
Many taller women have insecurities regarding their height, especially when wearing heels. If you like wearing heels, have proportionately shorter legs with a longer torso and/or have a higher BMI, you should continue wearing your heels; in that case, not wearing heels won’t boost your attractiveness, more on the contrary.
Feet and Hands
Some men have a foot fetish, but for most men feet and hands are similarly unimportant as height; they are arguably the least important parts of the female body. Having said that, small feet and slender hands with long fingers are clearly more attractive. There is nothing you can do to change the size of your hands or feet, and again it does not impact your attractiveness level too much anyway.
There’s been a new trend on the rise – the trend of the “fit chick” opposed to the trend of the “skinny chick”. “Strong is the new skinny” is the popular slogan of this trend. Even so, most women still worry about “getting too bulky” and looking more masculine as a result. Who’s right? The truth lies somewhere in the middle.
As established earlier, men find a lower body fat percentage and an hourglass body shape the most attractive.
Muscle mass in the “right” places can make certain women appear more like an hourglass while keeping a lower body fat percentage; training the lower body if you are lacking “curves” there would be beneficial in getting closer to the hourglass figure. And most women tend to have difficulties with gaining a lot of muscle mass, so there is little reason to fear getting “bulky“, especially if you are naturally skinny or “ectomorphic“.
If you are genetically predisposed to developing both more muscle and more fat, you should keep an eye on your body fat percentage and strategically train only the areas that could benefit from some extra “curves”. Otherwise, your higher muscle mass is only going to attract guys who have a “thing” for muscular women à la Ronda Rousey.
Conclusion:Focus on getting into good (or great) shape, by keeping your body fat percentage (ideally around 16-20%) in check and regularly strength-training the areas that would benefit from more curvature (but nothing more than that).
Doing anything beyond that is mostly unnecessary; though if you want to improve your appearance beyond the basics and have the means, go ahead and get a boob job if your cup size is A or AA, waist-train or wear shapewear and/or get liposuction or fat grafting, and wear high heels. I’d generally advise against butt implants because it is possible for most women to get a more shapely butt with enough strength training, and butt implants mostly attract only a specific kind of guy.
Even though a woman’s body is quite significant when it comes to assessing her physical attractiveness, her face is just as if not more significant. Everyone can get into good shape, so at the end of the day it is the face which decides how attractive a woman truly is as a whole. Universally attractive traits, like symmetry, proportionate facial features, and white straight teeth won’t be discussed here, because they are not limited to attracting straight men.
Everyone finds clear, smooth, blemish-free skin attractive. For men, good and firm skin is especially important, because it signals youth and health (or the lack thereof). Just like the weight issue, skin can be a touchy subject. Women have tried for centuries to improve the appearance of their skin and slow down its aging process.
If you suffer from Acne, you should do your best to get rid of it (or wear enough makeup that covers it up well, but that is sub-optimal). Acne problems are mostly caused by a lack of proper hygiene, malnutrition, and in some cases allergies. Make sure to practice proper hygiene (washing your face once or twice a day with a gentle cleanser), eat enough nutritious foods, use supplements if necessary (mainly Vitamin D, Zinc, Vitamin B complex, Omega 3, L Lysine), get enough sleep (around 8 hours each night), limit stress, exercise regularly, and limit or eliminate your intake of dairy and/or sugar and/or gluten and/or legumes. Additionally, you can use Salicylic Acid as a cleanser and Apple cider vinegar as a toner. Aloe Vera can be helpful with improving acne scars.
In order to prevent or treat wrinkly skin, apply a Salicylic Acid and/or Aloe Vera and/or Retinol product regularly, avoid too much sun exposure and use sun screen and/or makeup with SPF, drink enough water, exercise regularly, avoid smoking and drinking, and possibly get Botox or Laser treatments.
Emphasizing and “enlarging” your eyes visually with makeup can be quite effective. If you want, you can also wear light-coloured contact lenses, though they tend to look artificial. It’s also possible to get a different eye colour through surgery, but this is a rather pricey and risky procedure – I wouldn’t recommend it.
Emphasize your lips with red or pink (depending on your skin tone) lipstick (or lipgloss). If your lips are uneven, you may be able to balance out their shape with the use of lipliner. If your lips are too thin, you could get lip injections or lip fillers like Kylie Jenner. However, be careful not to overdo it and end up with disproportionally enormous lips (especially a ratio of 2:1 would be unappealing); in that case, you’d only attract a specific kind of guy who has a “thing” for huge lips.
There are plenty of women who are considered to be beautiful without having an oval or heart-shaped face; as long as the forehead is broader than the chin, a woman’s face shape will be considered aesthetically pleasing. Contouring with makeup might help you with achieving a more Oval or Heart-shaped-looking face.
It is rather impossible to change your forehead width, and other face shape related surgical procedures can be rather problematic. If you decide to alter your face shape, consider going to South Korea, the surgeons there have the most experience and expertise when it comes to facial surgery.
Ears that are not protruding are generally preferred by both sexes. In the case of female physical attractiveness, anecdotal evidence suggests that smaller ears are more feminine and hence more attractive than bigger ears (just like smaller hands and smaller feet are more attractive). However, this is not a particularly significant attractiveness factor and as such rather negligible. If your ears are strongly protruding on the sides and cannot be hidden by hair, you may want to consider surgery.
Conclusion: Focus on improving and taking care of your skin and possibly using makeup to enhance your feminine facial features.
Doing anything beyond that is mostly unnecessary; though if you want to improve your appearance beyond the basics and have the means, go ahead and get a nose job if your nose is too big or crooked, get botox or laser treatments, get lip fillers or lip injections, wear light-coloured contacts or get eye colour surgery, get facial surgery from Korea if your face shape is too deformed or disproportionate. All of these surgical procedures should be well-researched and the very last resort after you’ve improved in all other areas first.
Over the centuries, women’s grooming habits have changed quite significantly. In that light, the attractiveness of someone’s grooming is quite dependent on the culture and the current era it is in. Regardless, there are a few grooming habits that are rather universally attractive to most men across time. Basic hygiene (as in having regular showers, being clean and not smelling bad), as well as wearing fitted clothes in colours and a style that suit you are expected and beneficial for both sexes, and won’t be further discussed here.
Conclusion:Focus on growing out your hair to at least shoulder-length (examples here), getting a haircut that suits your face shape, and grooming your body hair (as meticulously as possible).
Beyond those basics, you can wear the aforementioned food scents, use nail polish, dye your hair blonde (if it suits your colouring and personality), and wear jewellery that draws attention to your assets (e.g wear bracelets and rings if you have feminine hands) to slightly boost your attractiveness further.
Following is a check list of your action plan in order to become as physically attractive as you can.
I advise every woman to follow the Basics to maximize her attractiveness.
The Boosters are not essential attractiveness improvements, but they can be beneficial without too much effort or money spent.
Generally I do not advise women to go for the Extremes, unless their appearance is grossly out of the norm and/or they want to attract a specific kind of man and/or they have went through all the other steps first and have thought about and researched the procedures thoroughly and well.
Get into good (or great) shape.
Improve and take care of your skin.
Improve and take care of your teeth.
Grow out your hair and get a haircut that suits/flatters your face shape.
Stay pale (if you are naturally on the lighter side).
Wear jewellery and clothing that draw attention to your assets.
Paint your nails.
Wear light-coloured contact lenses (if they suit your colouring and personality).
Dye your hair a lighter colour (if it suits your colouring and personality).
Get a boob job (if your breasts are smaller than a B cup).
Get Laser Skin Resurfacing (as/when needed).
Get a nose job (if your nose is deformed).
Get lip fillers or lip injections (if your lips are thin).
Get butt implants (if your butt is very flat and cannot be improved enough with weight training).
Get liposuction or fat grafting to create an hourglass shape.
Get facial surgery (if your face is deformed, preferably in South Korea).
There you have it – now you know for a fact what straight men find physically attractive. Many of the aspects I’ve mentioned have probably been familiar to you already, but you might have doubted a few. Now there is no doubt anymore.
Again, you do not need to follow any of the points above to attract a man. You can find a man who will be attracted to you even if you followed none of those points. But would you be attracted to him back? He’d most likely not take care of his appearance much either and/or be not particularly masculine or desirable.
However, when you follow the Basics and the Boosters as closely as possible, you’ll attract more men than you ever have before, including high quality men who are more physically attractive themselves.